Gratitude

Not long ago I read a story about a mother who recently lost her 3 year old son. http://www.babyboybakery.com/It was a freak accident. He was playing in his front yard and ran in the road to chase his ball, and that was it. 

He was hit by a truck passing by and died. 

Oh. my. gosh.

To imagine the pain that mother is going through makes it hard to breath.

So many prayers have gone her way.

Last Wednesday I got a taste of something I never want to experience again.

I had just gotten off work and was headed to our babysitters home to pick up the little's. 

When she called, crying.

"I want you to know everyone is okay, but we were just in a car accident and I need you here now." 

My. heart. sank.

As she told me where she was (just minutes away) I drove. I prayed. and prayed again.

She was pulled over on the side of the road in her blue-gray Expedition. 

In the middle of the road was a little red Toyota; glass shattered everywhere. 

I parked and ran to a blonde woman standing on the side of the road, on the phone crying, 

(okay so here is where the pep talk to my self comes in, "self, no matter what you find in the next couple minutes you do. and by do. I mean be Brave. No matter what you see, be Brave")

" Mam, are you okay? Your shaking, are you hurt?"

"No," she said. "I'm fine" (she kept crying, I made her sit down)

Then I noticed her car door was stuck to the front of Christy's car. I held my breath and ran to Christy. She was still sitting in her car; crying.

"Are you ok? 

Are you hurt?

 Did you call the police? 

Are the kids okay?

 Is your husband coming?"

 As I drilled her she just cried, "I love you kids, I would never hurt them."

I know.

I believed her. She is the kind of wonderful blessing only The Lord could have handpicked Himself for our family.

I know this was not her fault.

My kids...... 

 I took a huge breath and held it as I opened the back door to check on my babies.

There he was Max in the middle seat with the biggest smile you have ever seen.

 As if to scream in joy, "Mom, hey, what are you doing here. I never see you here." And Jack and Lucy in the back seat smiling, 

"Hey mom we were in a car accident, but we are fine." Jack said. 

"Are you hurt?" I asked, "Oh no we are just fine." said my Lucy.

The next moments are a blur, we prayed and thanked The Lord everyone was safe. The police showed up. The damage was assessed and information was exchanged.

The Toyota was towed away, totaled I'm sure.

Christy's husband was able to drive their car home and damage that can and will be repaired was all to come of it. 

I loaded my children in my car and started to drive home. I made it a mile or so down the road when it hit me.

All the air escaped from my lungs and I started to cry.

I could have lost them.

Oh.My.Gosh.

Matt and I's whole world was in that car.

What would I have done?

How could I breath. 

How would I be able to function if they were taken from me?

Honestly I don't know if I could.

 But I know that parents are going through losses of this nature on a daily basis.

How the do it I hope to never know. But I do know,

I know The Lord gives and He can take away. 

I know they are only my temporary gift. 

They are not mine forever, they are His

They are my temporary, amazing and beautiful gift that I could never thank Him enough for.

I never want to taste again what I did that day. 

But I am so thankful for the gratitude it has given me. 

I am so thankful for these 3 blessings Matt and I get to raise. 

I am thankful for every kiss,hug and I miss you. 

Every laugh, smile and cry. 

Every cuddle, sick day, and moment I get to take watching them sleep.

Every picture they draw or moment the learn something new. 

I am thankful for how much they make me love their Papa.

And how much closer I have become to The Lord because of them.

I pray that I never take them for granted and or waste a single moment The Lord has given me being their Mommy. 

Thank you!